Notes from Illeate on the possible destruction of Cthulhu

Symbol: Tentacle
Home Plane:
Far Realms
Neutral Evil ?
Portfolio: Horror, Insanity, Madness, Pain, Terror
Clergy Alignments:
Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic Evil, Neutral Evil.
Destruction, Evil, Madness, Water
Favored Weapon: Dagger

Cthulhu is the Great Old One, Himself, living in death-like slumber at the bottom of the sea (until recently). No mortal can dare describe in any accuracy what Cthulhu and the other Old Ones look like, but one cultist, Old Castro, came close: Although all of them describe him as resembling a corpulent mind flayer with far more tentacles, and wings that stretch for nearly a thousand feet, while he himself stands at least five hundred feet tall.

“They were not composed altogether of flesh and blood. They had shape…but that shape was not made of matter. When the stars were right, They could plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars were wrong, They could not live. But although They no longer lived, They would never really die. They all lay in stone houses in Their great city of R’lyeh, preserved by the spells of mighty Cthulhu for a glorious resurrection when the stars and the earth might once more be ready for Them. “

Vecna the Maimed lord described Cthulhu several times in the book of vile darkness an excerpt of such being “It would be a mistake to call Cthulhu evil, for he is beyond such petty concepts, he has mastered magic, psionics, divinity, and technology in such a way that lesser beings are incapable of understanding.”

None can truly understand the minds of the Old Ones, much less Cthulhu, Himself. All humans can comprehend is that, right now, He desires His freedom from His prison-home, R’lyeh. He possesses a vast empire across the multiverse, and his work can be found wherever a far realm exists. From Oerth, to Faerun, to Argyle to Eberron. From the scheming pits of Baator, to the Fields of Arborea. From the order of mechanus, to the chaos of limbo. Cthulhu’s touch is everywhere. Thus one can expect he could very possibly wish to expand his dominion.


The thing about Cthulhu is he’s really tough, but besides all the mind effecting issues, all he has documented for offense are melee, and a single cast per day of Implosion or summoning 2d4 starspawn (or even Gate-ing in more). As such, I’d recommend using a lich or construct; That would take care of the mind effecting effects (and Implosion), and with a Ring of Ferocious Action would also be able to avoid the stagger.

Though lichdom is out of the question for myself using one in the offense may be worthwhile, else finding some immunity to death effects through other means, so not too large a loss. Could try buying some constructs for distractions instead, but they’d end up shredded pretty quickly in melee… Could still be useful, as could a horde of basic undead for it to waste turns trampling…

The notes continue on this thought line for many pages before discounting the possibility, it would cause someone to go too far to the realm of evil and that would surrender too much control to the dark lord.

Other defensive stuff… Cushioning Bands will help with the inevitable grapple-constriction of your melee warriors. Also, while the True Seeing he has lets him see through any illusions, it doesn’t let him see through any smoke or mist that actually exists, although you’ll want to use non-magical sources if possible since he has at-will dispel magic…

Notes on possible alchemical creations to make non magical smoke follow

As for your offense… I don’t have many of ideas. Cthulthu is all sorts of difficult, perhaps more than is meant for any mortal creature to ponder. Him being an aberration rather than an outsider really limits the spells. I do note that unlike most powerful creatures, the only energy he’s noted to be immune to is cold, so could totally bury him in acid or lava via gate, although he’d likely use his at-will greater teleport to leave.. I’m really not sure what would work well.

Descends into recommended gating spells and talks about locations on key planes to gather lave or acid and which would have least chance of pulling enemies to destroy you

I have heard back from a source on Eberon and am told that Cthulhu is in fact Not immune to polymorph spells, just petrification. Although those are of limited usefulness due to spell resistance perhaps there is something that could be done here?

On Gating

Given that Gate can summon a max of 2x your caster s power worth of outsiders; I could theoretically call upon any outsider to aid me, even the strongest of demon lords. Although any specific deity/demon lord/empyreal lord can choose to not follow along, and anything at all over my circle level won’t be under my control, so I’ll want something good aligned unless I have some clout with specific dark ones, perhaps pretend to be my other self?. Perhaps their hatred for Cthulhu runs deep enough for a temporary truce?

Unfortunately the empyreal lords are unreliable at the moment, no direct connect to Cenarius, the most likely to come to aid, so if I want to call forth something that could fight equally against Cthulhu reliably I’d need to get a demon lord or archduke of hell, which would… require quite a lot of evil incentive for them.

With that in mind… the two things summons need to deal with are melee, which is a big deal, and instant-death mind effecting stuff, which is a bigger deal. A Ghaele azata could use it’s incorporeal form ability to either be immune to or severely resist the melee, depending on if Epic natural attacks count as magic for incorporeal interactions or not..? . But… Likely those would instantly die as soon as they appear, to Cthulu’s aura. Barring undead from the negative energy plane, which would also have the “are evil” problem, next best case would be Inevitables which are all immune to mind effecting and death effects. I’m not sure if it’d be better to call one or two strong ones or a horde of weaker ones though… perhaps I should consult Selwyn on summoning theory here…

Goes on to discuss summing theory and advantages between many or few

Perhaps using Time Stop 7 times in a row and fill the room with draughts of endless water before using my final turn to cast a Mage’s Magnificent Mansion and then Dimension Door myself into the mansion the second the time stop ended and let Cthulhu drown .Though he appears to be an aberrant nothing is documented of his ability to breath water? Could I lock down a plane and pull this off? I would need a greater power to seal the plane, but if it could be done…

Followed by math calculations of water flow, and magic items designed to counterspell water breathing or air creation spells

• Headband of Mental Superiority +6
• Ring of Invisibility (This is a must-have)
• Robe of blending (Also a must)
• Scarab of Protection (would not consider combat without it)

What about a suitcase with explosive runes on it, inside the case there is a box with fire trap, inside that another box with fire trap and so on… by my calculations I could get up to twenty three different castings in the single suitcase… I could cast a spell temporarily making him vulnerable to fire and then… how do I get him to read the runes to set the whole thing in motion… I could break the case, but would die in the resulting explosion as well…. Hmmmm

Need Town Saver?

Or a Samurai with contingency deathless… and making an honorable stand?



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