Remme Duponte, Lover of Ze Ladies

Lisanne: Remme, I have to speak with you about that bet you made with Fox. You know that you didn’t have relations with the lady, you know that right? I can’t lie for you; I said I wouldn’t outright lie for you to Fox.

Remme: Zat is… ah not true, you said you would nod, zat you would… ah.. how you say… agree with me… now you are backing away from ze deal… is this the ah… a… how you say…honour of the humans?

Lisanne: You know Fox has magical means of discerning lies, he would see right through me and he has probably already seen right through you as well.

Remme: Remme Duponté does not so easily succumb to ze puny elven magicks I am how you say…wilful and also beautiful.

Lisanne: * Sigh* anyway, I think I can help you. The lady was a golem, a construct, so she actually wasn’t a “lady”, there would have been no way for you to win that bet.

Remme: You mean she haz …how you say… no lady partz? There was no place for me to, “tap ze maple syrup”?

Lisanne: Yes, Remme, sigh, no lady parts, since she wasn’t actually a woman, there was no way for you to actually have the ability to seduce her. You need to tell Fox that the bet should be null and void, or at least a draw, as since “she”was a golem, and since golem are made of stone with no sexual anatomy.

Remme: I do not know, I am for thinking that perhaps Remme Duponté has ze charisma that he could charm even ze most unworked of stones

Lisanne: We were in great danger in that room, you know that right, the most important thing was saving Charlotte, we didn’t have any time for you to even attempt to win the bet. You were admirable and heroic in saving her. You need to tell Fox that as well.
You could agree to call it a draw, give him the 1G for the original bet and call it even, considering the circumstances.

Remme: I do not know, she did do a double take, but ze elf does not understand difficult concepts like the number two.

Lisanne: If he won’t back down and still demands you pay the wager, maybe you could offer to settle things at the archery tournament in Don Ton, wouldn’t you want Clarice to help you win this battle?

Remme: I am for thinking zat I am about to be out a lot of gold because you are now trying to go back on your word… but Remme is not an unreasonable person, I am for thinking zat perhaps if you were to pay ze loss of ze wager then I would be willing to release you from our deal… what is it zat you say to zat

Lisanne: Well… * Sigh* I think that you should try and assure Fox that she wasn’t a lady and that the deal is null and void… but I suppose if he won’t release you from it… then… Sigh

Remme: I knew we would have a … how you say understanding… now since ze business has been dealt with, would you like to have a… how you say … different understanding?

Lisanne: let’s just go tell Fox and get this over with

Remme pic



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